How much more interesting would the World Cup be if District 9 really existed!! For anyone who doesnt know, District 9 is a film about an extraterrestrial race (Nicknamed Prawns, or Fucking Prawns by the main character) forced to live in slum-like conditions on Earth as there spaceship has grounded to a holt over the city of Johannesburg.
I think it would be very unfair on the City of Johannesburg and the local people to move the games that are due to be played there so i think that extra care needs to be taken by all to ensure there are no major problems. I think we should intergrate the 2 million prawns into the world cup carnival and see what happens. I think FIFA would go for it, they would love a PR stunt like that.
I think the World Cup will pass without problems if we do the following….
As North Korea’s group games are in the City, i think that the dangerous Kim Jong-il should be placed under some sort of international arrest, just while the World Cup is on. This will ensure that the Prawn spaceship will not be nuked and relations with the aggressive race stays reasonable. (Anyway, i’m just kidding.. i’m a supporter of People Republic of Korea team.. sadl they lost in both previous match)
Brazilian women should be made to cover up for their own protection as the Prawns may get really horny and aggressive around beautiful women and explode. Uglier nations need not worry.
In the fan parks and bars, only lager shandy should be served to the prawns as we are unsure what beer will do to them. Also, no spirits under any circumstance.
Prawns are only allowed to support South Africa as they live there now for free, its only fair.
Prawns are not allowed a seat in the stadiums as they are too tall, however they can sit on the roof if they so wish, aslong as they can get up and down in a safe manner.
Trusted Prawns to be employed as team security for all nations and paid fairly in tins of catfood.
Pele, Sep Blatter and David Beckham must do a tour of District 9 slum and meet the poor prawns as they would in any normal world cup and have photos taken, set up a foundation etc…
Introduce the Prawns to the beautiful game by holding various tournaments for fans to compete in.
Super intelligent Prawns to be offered chance to be studio guests and pundits for various TV broadcasters